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Sunday, September 27, 2015

The Well

They started digging the ground
With twigs, mere children blessed
With big bundles of time
Shoveling away on the pretense
Of one game or another
They dug till the trench got deeper,
As they grew up, buried each other in it,
As they kept digging till there was water,
A stream of self-realization, as it reflected
A speck of their true selves, as they looked
At the water and not their reflection.

They dug away, sucking at the water
Like newborns suckling away, oblivious
Of the rules of the game, not worrying
About what happens once the eyes
Are open, and the senses awakened,
Sucking, drawing, emptying
Without care, without conscience, without love
There is just pure desire at first, no love,
No hope, no meaning, then there is a search,
When the belly is full, when the mammaries
Of the earth have been sucked free
Of everything there was in it
A search for everything that was
Right there in the first place.

But the water has receded, and the light
Isn't bright enough. If you throw a stone,
You can still hear the distant echoes
As the stone strikes the water deep down
Bringing us faith and meaning.
Should we let it rest or keep drawing?
Should we stop digging, and descend?
Hopping, on to the other side of the pulley,
Deeper into the recesses of the unknown
Embracing the fears that hold us,
The uncertainties that delay us.
Pack our bags, or even throw them away
And just descend into the well of the mind
Where the peaceful waters might have settled,
Or may rise to meet you half-way; just stop
Before you hit the surface, and observe, probe,
Question; the answers are always in the well.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Balloon Man

I used to sell balloons
Filled with a sense of calm;
Blown with lungs full
Of confidence, and a hope
Of your return; willing
To wait a million lifetimes,
With the mere thought of meeting
You again, lit by a solitary match,
Flickering away in a vacuum
That looked a lot like you, born
From your receding silhouette.

Now I'm selling the scrap - those
Busted balloons - discarded
At the price of toxic waste;
Collecting shreds from memories
Hidden in ailing dump-yards;
Deep inside the woods, where love
Could have sprouted instead;
Where a recessive hiraeth now
Walks alone, amidst memories
Of when we stared at the stars
And sighed, hand in hopeful hand.

I've always been a balloon man,
And always will be; just that
The balloons in my hand
Go through the various stages
In their journey across existence;
Mere atoms of rubber glued together,
Forming an identity, swelling up
And receding, or popping for
Trying too hard; letting go yet
Clinging on to a punctured identity,
Begging to emerge from the darkness.

Sunday, May 17, 2015

A Walk Outside

How long will you wait
Before you burst out, out of line?
Would you like go for a walk
With you tied to a chain of words?
What do you palpitate for;
Why do you pace up and down,
Panting like a period melting
Into a semi swollen comma.
What or who do you see outside,
That you want to mark your scent,
Lifting a leg, sprinkling the air around
With verbs that disregards the subject?
Would you wish to dare and dissolve
This identity we hold together
Each time we realise ourselves?
Or do you look for a mate
To find you by the scent
Of the traces you leave behind
With every carelessly uttered word?
Come, let me take you out -
Tied to my words; you may tug
And take me wherever you want -
Down the deepest trenches of structure
Or up rockiest surfaces of speech
I shall hold on till I can, and then
We shall either return, or you shall
Break free and chase a prey, enjoy
Your freedom for a while, as I
Run around trying to grab your tail
With parentheses and quotes;
Then we shall stroll back again, into
The comfort of our heads, you
Panting with excitement, lapping up
The fluidity of thoughts turning
Into action, as we build our lives,
With these structures of identity -
These sentences we've constructed
For ourselves - living, walking,
Phallic symbols - breathing,
Talking to our 'selves'...

Saturday, March 21, 2015

When I am With You

When I am with you, 
Weeks fly by like the wind
And the days they melt
Like chocolate on the tips 
of our passionate tongues.
When I hold your hand, 
I feel at peace, connected
To the universe through you,
And through the universe, to me,
As I focus my energies
On that little spot on your neck
Where I want to plant my lips, 
As I curl up by your side, to be at
The safest place on earth for me -
Our arms and legs entwined.

And when you are gone, 
The picture perplexes itself
Into a million scattered pieces
I cannot connect in a lifetime, and
Meaning sheds itself like that dress
When it slips off your shoulders.
But when you are with me, 
We are one with the universe -
United like our curious fingers  
And our synchronised breaths;
As we climb over walls of passion,
And dissolve Into a unitary world
Where you are me and I am you - 
Rising together, awakening as one.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015


Sometimes there is a loneliness
Worse than that of the solitary man
Cleaning and shining the floors
Of a McDonalds outlet at night;
Long after everyone's home,
All the smiles tucked away -
Lazy heads on cozy pillows,
Warm hands wrapped around
The ones they love and hold dear;
There are cars whizzing by, but
Even they're headed somewhere;
When even the watchman outside
Has a smiling mannequin for company.
Maybe, you hope, as you gather
Your karma, that someday the floor
Will be wet enough for you to see
A true reflection of yourself, and
You can then call this solitude instead...


We use these words as pieces
To join the giant jigsaw puzzle
Yet we limit them with classes,
Inventing 180s to justify 360s
Drawing a full circle right back 
To where we started - Shoonya
Dreaming up a million worlds
As we live through these cycles
Of birth and rebirth, drifting
Into sleep, then awakening to
A world of forgotten meaning.
Yet we use these words, axes
To dig in and to hack our way 
Up the stony walls of truth;
Hanging on by fingertips,
Trying to free ourselves
From this celestial intrigue
Woven out of the threads
Of you and me, when there is,
Truly, no self - only an illusion;
You and I, mere reflections
Of who we really are - of us.


It is nearly springtime, the colours are back
And it won't be gloomy too long, but now
Your hands are careful, like your words, 
As you head homeward; your backpack
Filled with responsibilities packed
For a lifetime; I know you must go,
I can see the basket with fresh bread
From the bakery, and flowers journeying
From the meadows to your centre table;
But you could stay for a while, you could 
Ease your back and I could calm my mind.
I know your itinerary is already populated
With motels and dinners for two; that
Your plans are made, your will is firm,
And that this fire may not last the night;
But I've given all my blankets away, and
These rains have brought back the chill, 
So if you really can't give me your love,
Then at least get me through this winter...

Monday, March 2, 2015

This Moment

No, I don't want to kiss you,
But let us kiss this moment
That contains us tonight;
For it surely is as beautiful
As you appear to my eyes;
This moment, created
By our collective pasts
That led us here together,
Joining our worlds through 
Our words and our eyes
As we look into our souls -
Those depths where we find
True reflections of ourselves...

Tuesday, February 10, 2015


You were the quiet one, calm and serene,
Like a sky that remembered a million pasts;
And I was the rippling ocean,
Ruffled by the slightest zephyr;
Incapable of true reflection;
And the world kept turning, bringing
Right-wing currents - uncouth and strong;
And we, like the ocean and the sky,
Couldn't meet, except at the horizon.
I see you there now, playing those notes
With the multicoloured choral hue of sunset;
As incumbent clouds hide erstwhile scars.
Raindrops blur my vision, change my form,
As I see the colours strung around your neck -
A faint assurance that all is well with you.
My chest swells up with the tides, then
Recedes, the air escapes in the mask of a sigh
Is there regret, none except how we parted;
How could we have quelled the stormy skies,
We couldn't walk on water, we know;
And your head rests now, on another chest,
And his heart beats in sync with your soul;
And my surface now reflects your distant smile,
With a middle-class dream to own mine someday...

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Asteroid II

There is no question that I'm here
Plummeting away into nothingness,
Seemingly going nowhere, yet taking you
Away from everything you've known.
There is no question that I'm drawn,
For your magnetic field is strong
And our poles are all aligned;
And I don't know what to do about it.
How much, is the question though,
Can an asteroid love a planet;
More than the sun? probably not,
For you're the only life in that orbit,
And I am but a crazy, careless asteroid
With no fixed path, home or plan, with
Nowhere to return to, nowhere to reach;
Not much I really know for sure,
Spinning too close to the edge,
Dancing dangerously, destroying
Things I meet, unless I let go
But I seem to be unable to break away
From this pull of your gravity.

I don't know why you hold on
With that passive embrace.
Is it a curiosity for the unknown?
Towards mystery - temporary, destructive,
Like a moth's attraction to the flame?
Or is it something else I don't realize?
That made you step out of your coach,
Setting your veil aside,
Night after chilly night, away
From your central heating?
Day after thoughtful day,
Setting aside the aircon, the wine,
The blankets, thewarm breezy summers
Followed by brief cuddly winters,
Off the smooth obstacle-free roads, 
You and your bright shining knight,
Your monarch; and I a rogue, a bandit,
A petty thief; a selfish Robin Hood.

My path is rocky, the next step unknown;
And the crater caused by this impact,
Will fill up with water soon;
And be long forgotten, covered maybe
By a lake, with trees and life growing around.
You've always been gentle on me; yank harder;
It might hurt, but then it hasn't gone too deep,
For all I have are some words and some hope,
And these won't really carry us far;
And the pupils of our eyes will soon adjust,
And this mind will learn to wander again.
So let's try this again; another shot -
And maybe together we can break away;
Let poor little conscience prevail.
There's no need to worry, time's still on our side,
And the seasons will warm up your days.

We could burn our own incandescent way, 
The burner on low flame, preserving the fuel
Through the darkness, the mysteries, the cold;
We could light our way across time and space,
And I could hold on to your hand till the end.
We might stumble across a beautiful sky,
But the future is frailer than a philosopher's faith 
And if this cannot be, then this is the time to act -
One giant tug, one drastic push, one bittersweet farewell;
For the longer we stay the tougher this gets,
And I don't wish to cause an apocalypse.
I have braced myself already, just 
And you can keep the part of me that remains;
For I'm already enriched by the time 
That we spent; and I'll be closer to myself
Through the rest of my asteroidal days...